Submitted by AL025 as an ABC 2017 Proposal which was approved
“Why Using “I” Statements is So Important!”.
When sharing with an individual or as part of a group, using “I” statements can make a big
difference. An “I” statement is sharing in the first person, as opposed to using
words such as “we,” “they,” “us,” and “you.” At first, it may seem like an
insignificant detail, but using third person statements is distancing and impersonal.
It can even be an attempt to subconsciously control others or place responsibility
outside of oneself. Example: “When you get abused, it hurts you.” Change this to:
“When I got abused, it hurt me.” Sharing in the first person promotes
self responsibility by divulging information only about yourself. When you are
tempted to use the generic “you,” “we,” etc., try to catch yourself and replace it
You will be surprised how different it feels and how much more you and
others get out of your share. It may feel uncomfortable at first. That’s because you
are casting off your protective shield and revealing the real you.
1) An “I” statement exercises my self control.
2) “I” statements build my self respect while
offering others a true opportunity to have a real relationship with me.
3) Struggling with “I” statements will often reveal the hidden aspects of the issues at hand. If you
truly want to disclose your feelings so that you and others can learn more about
YOU, use an “I” statement!