Category: Loving Parent Guidebook

Call for Shares: Loving Parent Guidebook

The proposal to create a Loving Parent Guidebook (LPG) passed the 2017 ABC unanimously. It was envisioned as an expanded, experiential guide to support Chapter 8 in the Big Red Book.

The LPG team has been hard at work since January 2018 and is now in the writing stage. We believe this guidebook will be an important new reparenting resource for newcomers and seasoned members alike.

But we need your help. To make the Guide complete we need fellowship voices on personal reparenting experiences. This can include how you made contact with your Inner Child, how you interact on a daily basis, or any other experience that has been meaningful to you. Your voices will help reflect the rich range of reparenting styles and experiences and make the guidebook more personal and accessible.

You can make a major impact on adult children learning to reparent themselves and practice self-love, all without participating in a conference call or leaving the comfort of your own home.

If you are interested in sharing on any of the topics below or anything else about reparenting that's meaningful to you (please limit your share to 350 words), please click here for guidelines and to submit your anonymous share. You can submit more than once. It helps the committee greatly if you can submit separate shares for separate topics. Thank you!

Deadline for share submissions: If you’d like your share considered for the LPG hard-copy edition, please aim to submit your share by January 15, 2020.

What’s a share? Here’s a couple of examples from Big Red Book, Chapter 8:
Loving Parent #1
When I got involved in ACA in the 1980s, the concept of a Loving Parent was new. We used affirmations, the Steps, and journaling, which I now believe to be a form of reparenting. The affirmations and the feelings work set the groundwork for me to counter my critical inner voice. This was a Loving Parent of sorts. The affirmations reminded me that I can do things right. I can give myself a break. This confounded my negative thinking, which had run wild before ACA. I have a Loving Parent today who is compassionate and funny. My Loving Parent inside does not criticize me when I pray or do things for myself. Reparenting myself with gentleness and self-love is as natural as being critical once was.

Inner Child #1
I am still discovering what an Inner Child is. In the beginning, I thought the Inner Child might only be a collection of childhood memories, but something happened that makes me believe my Inner Child is a distinct entity. It involves writing. When I think only of childhood memories, not much happens. But when I start writing and start asking questions, things start happening. But I also have to listen. I have heard a little boy’s voice in my mind when I do opposite-hand writing. This little boy seems to answer questions when I ask him how he is doing or if he would like to talk. The voice is consistent in tone and attitude each time we talk. He doesn’t seem interested in memories, but he will answer questions about them if I ask. He likes to talk. I have lots of notes with my opposite-hand. Some of the things are simple. He likes his bicycle and making mud balls. Other things he says are shocking. I am still thinking over some of the things he has mentioned.

General Reparenting

● How has reparenting changed your life? What have been the fruits of reparenting?

● What does it mean to reparent?

● What do you wish you'd known at the beginning of your reparenting journey?

● What advice would you give newcomers about reparenting?

● What have you learned about reparenting?

● In what ways do you reparent?

● What regular reparenting practices do you do?

● Mirror Work

● Non-dominant Handwriting

● Journaling

● Letters

● Affirmations

● Reparenting & Gentleness, Humor, Love & Respect

● Reparenting with the help of recovery partners, sponsor/fellow traveler, meetings

● Reparenting & Friendships: Healthy play dates (including fellow travelers and with sponsor and as a sponsor).

● Reparenting At Work

● Reparenting & Dating: Healthy Playmates (and dating shares)

● Reparenting & Service

● Reparenting & Family life: detaching with love, etc.

● Reparenting & Boundaries

● Play/fun and reparenting

● How you use reparenting to care for yourself for upcoming family visits, work meetings, difficult conversations, etc.

● How do the steps and reparenting work together for you?

● Therapy and reparenting work (grief work)

● What does living in the solution of "Becoming Your Own Loving Parent" look/feel like for you?

● What's different in your life with reparenting?

● How do you connect Higher Power and reparenting?

Loving Parent

● How did you meet your Loving Parent?

● What have you done to cultivate your Loving Parent?

● How does your Loving Parent help your inner child deal with feelings, needs and thoughts

● How does your Loving Parent validate, reassure and nurture inner child?

● How does your Loving Parent celebrate your inner child?

●How have you helped your inner child learn, grow and build self-esteem?

Critical Parent

● Detaching with Love from the Critical Parent

● Fruits of detaching with love from Critical Parent

● How you view your Critical Parent

● How your relationship to your Critical Parent has changed over your reparenting journey

● What worked to detach with love from Critical Parent?

● What didn't work to detach with love from Critical Parent ?

● How do you relate to the idea of the Critical Parent as an "adaptive parent" as put forth in the BRB?

Inner Child / True Self

● What misconceptions did you have about the inner child and inner child work? How has that changed?

● How did you meet your inner child?

● What has helped your inner child trust your Loving Parent?

● What's your relationship like with your inner child?

● Strategies/tools that help you connect with inner child

● What is an inner child to you?

● Common thoughts, feelings and behaviors when in wounded child

Teenager

● How you met your teenager

● What's your teenager like? How do you work with your teenager?

● Distinguishing teenager from Critical Parent

● Cultivating a relationship with your teenager

Reparenting challenges

● Resistance to Reparenting - encountering, overcoming

● How have you gotten through hard times with your inner child, teenager, etc.

● What reparenting challenges have you faced? How have you overcome them?

● What gets in the way of regular reparenting?

Self-Care

● How reparenting helped you with self-care

● How reparenting helped you identify and transform patterns of self-neglect rooted in childhood neglect

Loving Parent Guidebook Project Update

Aug 30, 2019

Call for Shares: Loving Parent Guidebook The proposal to create a Loving Parent Guidebook (LPG) passed the 2017 ABC unanimously. It was envisioned as an expanded, experiential guide to support Chapter 8 in the Big Red Book. The...

Category: Loving Parent Guidebook

Loving Parent Guidebook Project Update

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